This is the chapter you’ve been looking for, isn’t it? I know because I’ve been there. I’ve held a tarot deck in my shaking hands, whispering the same name over and over, asking the same question into the dark: "But how do they feel about me? Really?"
It’s the most human question in the world. We want a peek behind the curtain. We want to know if the fire we feel is reflected in their eyes, or if we’re just standing alone in a cold room. We want certainty. We want a sign. We want someone to tell us, "Yes, they love you," so we can finally stop holding our breath.
But I have to be honest with you—and this might be the "thorn" for this chapter: certainty is a ghost. Even if I could tell you exactly how they feel right this second, it wouldn't fix the underlying ache. Because feelings are like the ocean—they shift with the moon, they pull back, they rush in, they change temperature. A "yes" today doesn't guarantee a "yes" tomorrow if the foundation isn't there.
When we spend all our time guessing, hoping, and doubting, we aren't actually in a relationship with a person. We’re in a relationship with our own projection of them. We’re playing a game of emotional shadows.
I’m not sure... but I think we obsess over "their feelings" because it’s easier than facing our own reality. If we can find a tiny spark of love in them, we can justify staying in a situation that makes us miserable. We use their "hidden feelings" as a reason to ignore their "obvious actions."
But let’s use the cards. Not as a crystal ball, but as a way to ground ourselves in the truth. If you’re going to ask about them, let’s do it in a way that actually serves your peace of mind, rather than feeding your anxiety.
I want you to look closely at the gap between Card 1 and Card 2. This is where most of our heartbreak lives. Someone can feel a great deal of love for you (Card 1), but have zero intention of changing their life or committing to you (Card 2). They might pull the Lovers for their feelings, but the Four of Cups for their intention—meaning they care, but they’re choosing to remain passive or bored.
We usually stop at Card 1. We see a "good" card and we think, "See! They love me! Everything is fine!" But love without intention is just a feeling. It’s a beautiful sunset that you can't live inside. You can't build a home on a feeling that someone refuses to act on.
And then there is Card 3. This is the most important card in the deck for you right now. It pulls the focus away from them and puts it back where it belongs: on you.
Maybe Card 3 is the Queen of Swords, telling you to look at the facts with a clear eye and cut through the sentimentality. Or maybe it’s the Nine of Pentacles, reminding you that your happiness doesn't depend on whether they decide to show up or not. This card is your anchor. It reminds you that regardless of "how they feel," you have a life to live and a heart to protect.
I remember a reading I did for myself years ago. I kept pulling cards for a man who was deeply "confused." My cards for his feelings were always intense—passionate, deep, emotional. But his actions were nonexistent. I spent months trying to "understand" his depth.
Finally, I pulled one card for myself. I got the Eight of Pentacles. It’s a card of work, of craftsmanship, of focus. It hit me like a physical blow. The cards were saying: "Stop looking at him. Go back to your own work. Build your own life. Stop being a spectator of his confusion."
I’m not sure... but I think that was the moment I started to get better. I realized that his feelings were his business. My life was mine.
So, as you look at your cards today, don't look for a "save the date." Look for the truth. If their intention (Card 2) is vague or stagnant, believe it. Don't try to "fix" it with the emotions you see in Card 1. People are allowed to feel things they aren't ready to act on. And you are allowed to stop waiting for them to be ready.
This isn't about being harsh or cynical. It’s about being grounded. It’s about realizing that you deserve a love that is both felt (Card 1) and lived (Card 2). Anything less is just a story you're telling yourself to keep from being lonely.
Take a breath. Look at your cards. If they feel like a warm hug, cherish that. But if they feel like a cold splash of water, thank them for the wake-up call. The cards aren't here to lie to you. They are here to help you walk back to yourself.
You don't need to know how they feel to know what you deserve. Those are two very different things. And only one of them is under your control.
(Clarity is a quiet house you build for yourself, one honest brick at a time.)
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