I don’t know if this will help, but I want to start by being very honest: You might regret it.
It’s a bit strange, but most "inspiring" books will try to tell you that regret is an illusion or that every choice is perfect. I’m not going to do that. I think we stay stuck because we are waiting for someone to promise us that we will never feel that heavy, sinking feeling in the pit of our stomach that says, "I wish I had chosen differently."
But no one can make that promise. You might choose the new job and find out the boss is impossible. You might move to the new city and feel lonely for months. You might leave the relationship and miss them every single day. Regret is a real, human possibility. It’s not a sign that you failed; it’s a sign that you are living a life that matters.
Regret is not the end of the world. It’s just an uncomfortable room you sometimes have to sit in.I think we’re so terrified of regret because we’ve been taught that it’s permanent. We imagine it as a stain that never comes out. But if you look closely at your own history, you’ll find that you’ve survived every "wrong" choice you’ve ever made. You’ve pivoted. You’ve adjusted. You’ve found new ways to be okay. The "Future You" that you are so worried about is actually quite resilient.
In Tarot, I often look at the Five of Cups when this fear comes up. You see the figure in the dark cloak, head bowed, staring at three spilled cups. All they can see is what is lost. They are drowning in "what if." But if you look behind them, there are two cups still standing. And there is a bridge leading to a castle.
Regret is the act of looking at the three spilled cups and forgetting the bridge exists. It’s a trick of perspective. It makes the world feel smaller than it actually is. The cards aren't telling the figure to "stop being sad." They are just quietly pointing out that the story isn't over just because some wine hit the grass.
I don’t know if this will help, but I’ve realized that I’d rather regret something I did than something I was too scared to even try. There is a clean kind of pain in a mistake, but there is a lingering, dusty kind of pain in never knowing.
You are allowed to make a choice, feel the regret, and then make a new choice.One of the core ideas in "The Fool System" I’ve been working on is that the "Size" of the step doesn't matter as much as the "State" you are in. If you take a step in a state of trust, and it leads to a mistake, you haven't lost your "State." You are still a person who knows how to trust. You just have more data now.
What if regret is just a teacher that speaks a very loud, very annoying language? It’s trying to tell you what you value. If you regret leaving a job, it’s telling you that you value stability more than you realized. That’s good to know! Now you can look for stability in your next move.
Try this: Pull one card for the question, "What will I do if I regret this choice?"
You might get the Eight of Pentacles (You’ll work through it). You might get the Star (You’ll find a new hope). You might get the Chariot (You’ll take control and move in a new direction). Notice how none of those cards say, "You will be destroyed forever."
It’s a bit strange, but the moment you accept that regret is a possibility, it starts to lose its power over you. It’s like turning on the light and seeing that the "monster" under the bed is just a pile of laundry. It’s still there, and you still have to deal with it, but you aren't paralyzed anymore.
I want you to take a breath. You are safe, even in your potential mistakes. You are whole, even if you choose the "wrong" door. You are a person who is brave enough to move, and that is a much bigger deal than being a person who is always "right."
So, let the fear of regret sit in the chair next to you. Acknowledge it. Give it a cup of tea. And then, when you’re ready, stand up and walk toward the door anyway.
(Regret is not a sign of failure.
It is a sign that you are a person with a heart big enough
to care about the life you are living.)
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